Frozen Like Ice
by FireBankai7
Summary: The war's over. Aizen's dead. There's peace again in Seireitei. But Rangiku is heartbroken. Gin, her love, is dead. Then she finds out that there's a way to get Gin back. So Rangiku and her friends set out on a quest into the unknown to bring Gin back...
1. Ch 1: Won't Cry Anymore

**Jeez, why is it I always seem to start my stories with someone remembering a dead person they loved? In **_**Their Wings**_** it was Fang thinking of Max, now I have Rangiku reminiscing about Gin. Even I think it's depressing…..*sigh…* Anyways, this first chapter is kind of like a tribute to Gin, who died, and Rangiku, who loved him…I dunno. I guess it's kinda like a lament or wutever. I wrote it because I love Bleach so I had to write **_**some **_**kind of fanfic for it, and the part where Gin dies was really sad, both in the anime and the manga, and altho I didn't cry I was really touched…and I wish he hadn't died…..**

**okay sorry. touchy-feely time over. crap. I don't get like this often…anyway, read on…**

**PS: for u ppl who watch the English subs/dubs, Shinigami = Death God = Soul Reaper, got it?**

**PPS: I know this chapter is kinda short, but I tend to be like that with all my first chapters, so just so you know my next chapters will be a lot longer, 'kay?**

**PPPS: I don't own Bleach, although that would be incredibly cool and I will someday, I swear.**

**PPPPS: if you want a SPOILER for the next chapters in this fanfic, read the words below in small print, if ya don't wanna spoiler, skip to chapter one. but lemme tell you, knowing the spoiler is WAAAAY worth it!**

**Okay, so, the spoiler: **_**Gin isn't dead. I loved him too much to just kill him off so he comes back to life. Well, not comes back to life exactly, but basically you find out that he never really died, just…almost died. If ya wanna find out more, put me on AuthorAlert so you can read the next chapers!**_

**Frozen Like Ice**

**Chapter 1: Won't Cry Anymore**

In a training ground just out of Seireitei, with the sun just breaking over the edge of the horizon, Rangiku Matsumoto stood back in the shadow of the trees, watching a young white-haired boy with large, piercing ice-blue eyes train with his sword. White-blue waterfalls burst from the tip of his blade and curved through the air, then solidified into frozen cascades of ice that would hang there forever, slivers of the golden sunrise glittering in their cold cores, freezing this moment in eternity, until they were destroyed by their creator.

The boy sliced his sword through the air in front of him in a wide, graceful arc, and the icy columns shattered into millions of sparkling pale-blue crystal shards. They hung there for a moment, in the air, and then fell to the ground around him, slowly sinking into the dry, dusty earth of the training ground.

He really was skilled, she thought. They didn't call him a prodigy for nothing. He was so young, but already Captain of the Tenth Division. Her captain. Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro. She could still remember that day, over a hundred years ago, when she had found him, still unaware of his powers, confused and scared. He had come so far since then. So, so far. She was proud of him. He was like a little brother to her. Except a little brother who could act very serious and annoyingly mature sometimes, and who you teasingly flirted with and who could boss you around.

But he wasn't really a boy, of course. Not in human years, anyway. He had lived for a long time. He was just younger than the rest of them. Not to mention short…!

Now he slashed and cut in front of her at an invisible enemy, his eyes shining with determination and intense concentration. She knew that his fight with the Espada Halibel had left him painfully aware of his shortcomings, and now he was set on training and training until he made himself even more powerful than before.

The battle against Aizen and his army had had that effect on many of Soul Society's Shinigami. She knew for a fact that Renji and Hisagi were both training with their Zanpakuto somewhere right now, not to mention Captain Zaraki Kenpachi and Third Seat Madarame Ikkaku of the Eleventh Division, who were currently beating the crap out of each other right outside the door of their barracks. Well, actually those two probably didn't count, since they beat the crap out of whichever unfortunate person they could find on a regular basis.

All the same, everyone was busy doing something or other right now, whether it was training or paperwork or healing others' injuries from the battle or healing from their _own _injuries from the battle. Everyone had done their share in fighting to protect Karakura and Soul Society, and they were all helping out now, as Seireitei slowly recovered from the battering it had taken ever since all the trouble with Aizen and his Hollow army had started. Everyone had done their part, everyone except her. She had been totally useless.

For all her tough talking and acting, right from the beginning, when Gin had left with Aizen, she couldn't do a thing to stop him. Then right at the end, when Aizen and Gin had advanced into Karakura Town, she had been powerless to stop them. When they had gone after Ichigo's friends, she had been powerless to stop them. When Gin had pulled her away from the confrontation, she had been powerless to stop him. When he had knocked her out with Shinso, his Zanpakuto, she had been powerless to stop him. And when Aizen had killed Gin…she had been powerless to stop him from doing it.

Gin… He was the reason that she had ever had any joy in her childhood, he was the reason why she had ever become a Shinigami, he was the reason she was still alive. But he was dead. Dead, because he had tried to protect her, but when it was her turn, she hadn't been able to protect him. Dead…and it was her fault.

She remembered his face as he lay broken on the rocks, his life flowing out of him in streams of blood…The image would be burned like fire forever in her mind. _God, Gin. If only you hadn't left. We could have had so much together. We could have had a world of our own… Oh, there was so much we still hadn't done, so much we still hadn't said. And now none of it will ever happen._

She never had been able to ask him, ask him truly, why he had done it. Why he had left her. Why he had betrayed them. Well, she had asked him, that last day that she saw him, but he had never answered her. Never helped her understand. He'd died before he'd had the chance.

But she forgave him. She forgave him for everything he'd ever done wrong, because all the things he had done for her counted so much more. She thought back to the time when they were still children, that day when it all first started. The beginning of their new life as Soul Reapers.

_She stood in the snow, her bare feet numb with cold, watching Gin where he stood with his back to her. The bone-chilling wind blew her strawberry-blonde curls into her face, and made the ends of Gin's tattered black Shinigami cloak flutter about his thin body. "Gin! Where have you been, Gin? I thought you were killed… But those are Shinigami clothes! Where did you get them…?" _

"_I've decided, Rangiku." Gin's voice sounded slightly unsteady. Or was it just the wind snatching his voice away from her? "I'm going…to become a Shinigami."_

_She stared at the back of his head, wondering if she had really heard right or if it was just another cruel trick the world was playing on her. _

"_I'm going to become a Shinigami…and change the way things are." Gin finally turned his head, his blue, blue eyes staring into her silver-grey ones. There was blood on his face. Why was there blood on his face? And why were there tears in his eyes? Gin never cried… "I'll fix it…" Now there was definitely a quaver in his voice. "I'll do what it takes so you won't have to cry anymore, Rangiku."_

_Gin…_

She had known when he was dying. Maybe because her ties with him went so deep, maybe because some part of her had always know it would happen. But whatever it was, she had known. Known when Aizen plunged his sword though Gin's chest, sealing his fate, destroying any last hope of his survival. She had felt it when it happened, like a treasured part of her heart, suddenly fading away… like a painful wrench in her soul…it was what had jerked her back into consciousness.

She ran then, ran as fast as she knew how. But when she got there, it was already too late. She remembered again the last thing he'd said to her, as she leaned over his battered body.

"Damn, Rangiku…it didn't work. In the end, I couldn't make them pay for what they did to you. I couldn't fix things for you. I screwed up. I'm sorry." His face was wet, but she couldn't tell if it was from his tears or hers. Maybe it was both.

Then, he had died. Just…left. She wondered how it could happen, how someone so full of life just a minute ago could suddenly cease to exist.

God, her heart felt frozen, like the waterfalls Hitsugaya shot from his Zanpakuto. Ice-cold with the horror and pain of Gin's death. It hurt so bad she felt like her heart would break. Shouldn't it, now that the only person holding it together was dead? She hoped it would break. She hoped it would shatter into a million broken pieces, so she could die and go wherever Gin had gone. She didn't care what happened…she just wanted to be with him again. Kira had told her that the pain would go away after a while. That she would learn to get over it and keep living her life. But she knew it wasn't true. She knew to the depths of her soul that her feelings for Gin would never change or dull over the years.

_No, I'll never forget you, Ichimaru Gin. How could I? It would be like forgetting about my own soul. It would be like forgetting about the most important part of me. Damn, it _WOULD _be forgetting about the most important part of me. Because you're the most important part of me, Gin. You're the reason why I've come so far, done so much, and I only wish I could've done it all with you. And now it's too late, isn't it?_

**SPOILER ALERT! (BUT ONLY A SPOILER FOR THIS FANFIC…)**

**Sheah (For those of you who haven't read my story **_**Their Wings**_**, Sheah stands for She-who-must-not-be-named, aka. my annoying but awesome friend, not to be confused with Voldemort): Nope, actually it ain't too late sweetie. Ya see, because of the amazingness that is FireBankai7, Gin **_**isn't **_**d – **

**Me (aka. FireBankai7) *yelps and claps fuzzy black pillow **(see _Their Wings _chapter 2) **over Sheah's mouth*: What? You're not supposed to tell the whole goddamn secret to the whole goddamn world! Jeez, that's what I get for discussing my ideas with you…**

**Sheah *totally mortified and speaking through pillow*: Omigod I'm so so so sorry! I just couldn't help it! It was just so great and so amazing that I just had to tell them that Gin's a – *this time FireBankai7 slaps duct tape over Sheah's mouth, to be on the safe side***

**Me *: Gosh, way to ruin it for everyone, girl. You just can't keep a secret can ya?**

**Sheah *nods mournfully under duct tape*: Mmm hmff…**

**Me: Aww Sheah, do you want me to take the duct tape off?**

**Sheah *again nods mournfully under duct tape*: Mmm hmff hmff…!**

**Me: Aww, okay then. I'll take the duct tape off Sheah if you all review, okay? So REVIEW AND SAVE SHEAH FROM ETERNAL MUTENESS.**

**Wait! Wait: IMPORTANT NOTICE! (I added this later on after I first posted it.)**Guys I really need help here. See, for the next chaper I am totally stuck right now. I have absolutley NO inpiration and for you math freaks story minus inspiration equals NO UPDATES! so PLZ PLZ PLZ guys help me out here. **Just give me a review or message with suggestions on it. I DONT CARE WHAT THE SUGGESTION ARE! ANYTHING IS HELPFUL!** So, yeah, plz, if you hav any compassion...or even any urge to find out wut happens next in the story...**GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS!** thanks.

Oh yeah, and btw, that whole part thats italicized in this chapter about when Gin first became a Shinigami, I took the scene from the Bleach manga and added things in and stuff. I just had to say this in case some idiot reports me for plagiarizing or something. Jeez, you'd think ppl have better things to do these days...


	2. Ch 2: Getting Drunk & Blowing Things Up

**Okay, so ppl hav been constantly bugging me about writing shorter author's notes, so i actually will this time. I just wanna say I practically killed myself writing this, so u better appreciate it. I had like NO inspiration and I had to literally rip the words out of my brain to write this...so i hope u enjoy it!**

**Frozen Like Ice **

**Chapter 2: Getting Drunk and Blowing Things Up**

_A month after Gin's death…._

Rangiku Matsumoto woke to the freezing-cold touch of an ice pack being pressed to her upper arm. She leaped out of her bed with a screech loud enough to wake the dead, and a few Hollows besides, then took in her surroundings and realized that she hadn't been in bed, but out on the couch in Hitsugaya's office. She collapsed back onto the cushions with a groan and looked up into the tired face of her captain, frustration and sympathy warring in his ice-blue eyes.

"Rangiku, for Christ's sake, it's three in the afternoon! If you hadn't been coming to work with hangovers and passing out on my couch like this before any of that shit with Aizen happened, I might have more consideration for your situation right now. But you can't spend your time getting drunk with Kira, Renji and Hisagi just so you can escape from reality. I've tried to put up with it as much as I can, but this has just got to stop. You did it after Gin turned traitor with Aizen, and you're doing it now after Gin was killed."

Rangiku tried to hide the flash of pain in her eyes at Hitsugaya's last words, but he still noticed. His expression softened a little and he tried to make his tone gentler.

"Look, Rangiku, I'm sorry about what happened, and I know how much Gin meant to you and that it must be awful for you, but a lot of other people are going through the same thing right now. You're not the only one. But Seireitei is in critical condition right now after the war with Aizen. We haven't been this vulnerable since god knows how many centuries. So I know it's hard, but I especially can't afford to have a nonfunctioning vice-captain at a time like this. I need you backing me up, and anyway it won't do any good if you just run from the truth."

Rangiku wouldn't meet his eyes. "What truth? I'm not running from anything."

Hitsugaya sighed. "Jeez, you know what the truth is. I don't _want _to make you hear it, but you can't live in denial! In the end, Gin sacrificed himself to save Seireitei. Are you going to let everything he did go to waste?"

Something surged up inside Rangiku, and she gave him a glare strong enough to drill a hole through his head. "Whatever. Don't start thinking about judging other people when you don't even know what it's like, you little _boy._ You've got no idea!"

For a moment it looked like Hitsugaya was going to yell back at her, but then all the fight went out of him and he slumped back onto the chair at his desk and dropped the ice pack in his hand into the trash can without even looking to see if he'd missed. "But I do know what it's like, Rangiku." He said quietly. "And it's hell."

Then Rangiku remembered Momo Hinamori, Hitsugaya's best friend, who had gone into shock after she saw Aizen's dead body and was currently in a coma in the Fourth Division's extensive care ward. She felt a wave of guilt. The war had been hard on Hitsugaya, too. And it wasn't his fault Gin had died. She shouldn't be taking it out on him.

"I'm sorry, Captain. You go train. I'll do the paperwork."

Hitsugaya stared at her in disbelief. "Excuse me? Did I hear that last part right? _You'll do the paperwork? _As in the paperwork _that you have never even laid hands on in the fifty-six years that you've been my vice-captain? _No. This can't be real. Exactly what did you mean when you said you'd '_do' _the paperwork? Burn it maybe? Or rip it to shreds? You can't actually mean you're gonna _do _them…"

Rangiku sighed but couldn't help a little half-smile. "Just go, Captain. A little paperwork won't kill me."

"I still think you're an incredibly helpful rogue shinigami posing as my vice-captain…" Hitsugaya muttered as he headed out the door, Hyorinmaru in the sheath on his belt.

She waited until his footsteps went down the stairs and she heard the door of their barracks open and close as he went out, then sat down at his desk and stared blankly at the stacks of forms and files in two-feet high piles that continued onto the floor of the office.

She wasn't sure what had prompted her to make such an impulsive offer. It was like, suddenly, she'd felt that she needed to do something, anything, to take her mind off of Gin, and she had thought that doing some work would be a good distraction. Now that Hitsugaya had left though, she realized that she couldn't actually summon the energy to do anything.

Feeling a little guilty because she had promised Hitsugaya, she reluctantly picked up one of the topmost files and started filling it in. But her heart wasn't in it. Her heart was miles away, wherever Gin had gone. She hated herself for being so pathetic, and she hated the world for taking Gin away from her. A life without Gin stretched in front of her, long and black and full of despair.

Her right arm shook as she wrote, and she realized that her other hand was unconsciously fingering the chain necklace that Gin had given her the day she became a Vice-captain, and that she had never taken off since. God, she couldn't deal with this. She couldn't face it. The grief and anger welled up inside her, and it took all her self-control not to take out Haineko and smash something up.

Rangiku didn't want to stop the pain with violence, seeing as she was in Hitsugaya's office, so she used the next best thing. Drink.

When the Captain of the Tenth Division got back from training four hours later, he found Rangiku passed out on his couch again, three empty bottles of sake lying on the ground. The papers on his desk were untouched but for the first six sheets of paper. Hitsugaya didn't say anything, just threw out the bottles and did the work himself, then put a blanket over Rangiku before he left for the night.

* * *

_Well past midnight in the Urahara Store…_

"Ururu! Go pull out my Section 3.2 files on the Hougyoku's configuration, will you?"

"Yes, Urahara-san."

"And Jinta, bring me two more vials of artificial reiatsu and a first level sealing scroll! Make sure that the reiatsu vials are the same model that I used on the first Hougyoku."

"Yes, sir!"

"Here are the files, Urahara-san…"

"Ah, thank you, Ururu. Now, as soon as Jinta brings me…oh, there they are. Thank you, Jinta. Now, you and Ururu go and take cover in the underground training area, and don't come out no matter what until one of us comes and gets you, okay?"

"Yes, sir!" "Yes, Urahara-san!"

"Good. All right, now, let me see…yes…okay. Yoruichi, if you would just hold this still for me while I fuse one last type of reiatsu into the third chamber…"

"All right. We've done it. It's all finished. Now Tessai, in case anything goes wrong, I want you to be ready with your restraining Kido, and Yoruichi with your shielding Kido and Flash Cry. If there's the slightest sign of an unbalanced disturbance inside the Substitute Hougyoku, I want you to execute immediate measures to stop any chance of an explosion from getting outside this building. And I don't care if I'm in the way, you can't let even a trace of the contents harm the store or anything inside it."

"Kisuke, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Obviously not, Yoruichi, or I wouldn't have to try this experiment."

"I see. Well, that's reassuring."

"Now, now, Yoruichi, whoever heard of anyone getting anywhere without venturing into the unknown? How do you think I invented the Gikongan? The Reiatsu Suppression Cloak? The Tenkai Kecchu? And above all, the Hougyoku? Have you no faith in me at all?"

"Well, you _were _the head of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute and Captain of the Twelfth Division, as I'm sure you're going brag about next, and you _did _succeed in most of your experiments, but I seem to remember you blew up a hell of a lot of Seireitei in the process."

"Ouch, I'm hurt, Yoruichi. I thought that you of all people would understand how the importance of permanent scientific development outweighs the importance of the temporary peace and welfare of Soul Society."

"Whatever. Just cut out the crap, Kisuke. We've got a job to do."

"Okay, okay. Jeez, just trying to share some of my profound wisdom here…"

"Kisuke, you've got about as much _profound wisdom_ as Soi Fon has a sense of humor. Now will you shut up and get moving before I realize how totally insane and reckless this plan is and change my mind about helping you and_ get the hell outta here?_"

"Fine, jeez. All right. Yoruichi, you stand on my right, and Tessai, you stand on my left. Now, as soon as I bring down Benihime, you both do your things with your Kido and we'll try and keep from wiping out half the world's population this time, shall we?"

_"This time? _You mean you've done it before?"

**Okay, so I'm not sure if im proud of writing this chapter or not. I still think rangiku was a little out of character, but I just couldn't think of how she would react to Gin's death, honestly. So this was the best I could do. I thought my little dialogue at Urahara's was the best part, but I dunno, u judge it urself. I guess it cud've been better written but WTH that's too bad. I mean, I don't think it was TOTALLY awful. like, I kinda liked it.**

**But I swear to god that the next chapters will get a lot better. Promise.**

**BTW, about the inventions that Urahara mentions, yes guys he did invent them. i did my research ppl! but in case ur not sure, here it is: **

**1. the Gikongan, also known as Soul Candy, is a pill that separates a shinigami's soul from their body, **

**2. the Tenkai Kecchu, also known as the World-Shifting Binding-Posts, are the posts that were used to move the whole of Karakura town into Soul Society before the fight with Aizen's army. **

**3. the Reiatsu Suppression Cloak is the cloak that urahara wore when he used it to sneak up on Aizen when Aizen was doing his Hollowfication experiment on Shinji and ect., that hides his spiritual pressure. **

**4. As for the Hougyoku, i really hope u do know wut it is, cuz its only been in, like, eighty percent of the whole frickin anime/manga, and anyways I don't think I cud explain it to u even if I wanted to its so darned complicated….if u seriously don't know wut it is then u better read up on it, cuz the hougyoku's gonna play a key part in this story**

**And just in case it's been ages since you watched/read Bleach so ur kinda out of touch, Hyourinmaru is Hitsugaya's sword, Haineko is Rangiku's and Benihime is Urahara's.**

**okay, that's pretty much it. I'm afraid Sheah won't be making an appearance this time – she's sick as hell right now. I'm secretly glad…nah, not really lol. But wutevs it's less typing for me, right? (sorry, Sheah)**

**okay, now REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I mean, how hard can it be to just press the little button and type a few sentences? it's the least you can do after I go to all the trouble of writing all this for you! and Sheah says that she'll get better sooner if you REVIEW for her with a get well soon!**


	3. Ch 3: Major, And Not So Major, Screw Ups

**A/N: sorry it took me so long to update, guys. I know I deserve whatever complaints you have after leaving u like this for so long. Its been, like, wut, a month since my last update…? …less than a month. I just checked. It was about three weeks. **

**But anyways, sorry bout that. Wut with school, a funeral a four-hour drive from where I live, multiple activities, about five different projects my teachers suddenly decided to pile on at the same time after weeks of basically no homework, and most of all, a definite lack of inspiration, it was really hard for me to get anything written. But now that things are a little less exciting (or hectic, if im gonna be honest about it.) ive managed to grind out yet another chapter. and since it took me so long I wrote two thousand eight hundred seventy words. Yay me. I should reward myself with some cookies…I'll go get 'em now…so read on! **emits sounds of munching****

**Frozen Like Ice**

**Chapter 3: Major, And Not So Major, Screw-Ups**

_Two months after Gin's death, mid-afternoon in the Urahara Store…_

"Jinta! Reiatsu and scrolls! Now!"

"Uh, sir, there aren't any left…"

"What? Whaddaya mean there aren't any left? Kisuke, you were supposed to have made enough first to sixth level sealing scrolls since our first experiments to keep us going for a year, weren't you? How come this kid's saying we're all used up?"

"Well, uh, heh heh. I was…uh…working on it, Yoruichi, but…I was really busy, and – "

"Oh jesus, you have _got _to kidding me. Why is it you men are so frickin' _lazy? _It drives me insane! I mean, how long could it have taken for you to combine the three simplest Kido elements into a bunch of shitty little _SHEETS OF PAPER? _A baby could've done it in a day! A baby _Hollow _could've done it in a day! A baby Hollow with _ABSOLUTELY NO SPIRITUAL PRESSURE _could've done it in a day! Hell, even _Ichigo _could do it in a week or so, although he'd probably blow the whole house up with his badass reiatsu at the same time. And you're actually trying to tell me that you were _TOO GODDAMN BUSY?"_

"Now, now, just calm down, Yoruichi. It's only – "

"_Calm down? CALM DOWN? _You did not seriously just tell me to _CALM DOWN_, did you?"

"Well…uh…no, not exactly, but – "

"Don't interrupt me, you useless piece of shit! Don't you get that what we've discovered could put the whole frickin' Soul Society at risk here? Not to mention the entire human world? And your _OWN GODDAMN LAZY-ASSED SELF?_ You do realize that if Aizen's really alive, the first guy he's gonna go after is the one who has almost ruined all his plans, _multiple times? _Ending with _almost killing him?"_

"Uh…Yoruichi…"

"You think he's just gonna leave you alone after that? Like he's just gonna say, 'Oh, It's all right, my dear Kisuke, I'm not going to brutally murder you. I mean, all you've done is foil my plans over and over again, causing me major headaches and a lot of loose ends to tie up, not to mention the fact that most recently, you shot a bunch of Kido spells into my body and BLEW ME UP, but that's okay, I don't care, I _like _having people destroy my evil plans and make attempts at my life!'"

"Yoi-ru-i-chiiiii…"

"…I'm so grateful to you for trying so hard to kill me. Why don't I make you my Minor God or Vice-God or High Minion or something and we can have sleepovers in Hueco Mundo on weekends when we're off god-duty, and I can treat you to my favorite brand of sake and extra rare shinigami flesh!'"

"…Yoruichi?"

"_What?"_

"Um, are you done yelling? Because I just thought you should know…"

"Know_ what, _Kisuke?"

"…Ururu's fainted."

"..."

_Two months after Gin's death, late afternoon in Seireitei…_

It was late in the afternoon as Rangiku Matsumoto walked through the maze-like streets of Seireitei. She found herself wandering aimlessly around like this more and more these days. A few well-aimed Flash Steps and she was out the door of Tenth Division's barracks and in the street, away from Toshirou's nagging and the panicked chaos of Tenth Division's less intelligent Shinigami, who seemed to think the Vice-Captain's duty included fixing whatever mess the rest of them had managed to create, going off in a random direction that somehow always ended up taking her back to some place that held a memory of Gin.

She wondered if it was her subconsciousness guiding her, or if there were just so many places that reminded her of him that it was inevitable that she came to one eventually. She was so different nowadays, spending her time alone, walking silently through Seireitei, taking in the world she had lived in for over two centuries, but that she might not have truly appreciated until now, when it seemed too late.

Gin's death had changed her a lot. She actually stopped to think about things now, _rationally, _instead of just forging ahead, leading the way one some crazy scheme, then laughing it off if her plan failed, and immediately suggesting something else that sounded like fun.

She didn't have fun anymore. With Gin dead, she didn't have the energy or the attitude to flirt and tease and play around like she used to, acting like she didn't have a single care in the world.

'Course, she was only acting even then; it wasn't like she was totally happy and carefree before either. But now, the pain was too deep for her even to pretend. She had become quiet and solitary, or at least quiet and solitary in _comparison _to how she was before_. _Still, now she actually thought about things. Horribly _deep _things like the world and the meaning of life and doing stuff _'for the good of Soul Society'_.

Ugh, she was getting like _Hitsugaya. _It was awful. Before she knew it she'd have turned into some creepy old hag who owned fifteen cats and drank nothing but carrot juice. Well, not that Hitsugaya was actually a creepy old hag with fifteen cats who drank carrot juice (the hag, not the cats), but he was just so damn _mature _sometimes. Way too mature than he should be, Shinigami Captain or not.

How was it even possible for someone to look ten and have a middle-age man's mentality? And _she _was getting like that? Rangiku felt depressed just thinking about it.

_Three months after Gin's death, mid-morning in Tenth Division Captain Hitsugaya Toshirou's office…_

Hitsugaya stood at the window and watched as Rangiku's curvy figure, clad in her unmistakable Shinigami robes with her signature hot pink lining, receded into the distance, until she was just a shadowy blur walking along the shingled roofs of the buildings on the main street of Seireitei. He sighed and turned back to the ever-increasing piles of paper on his desk, some of which should have been on Rangiku's desk, had she had a desk, which she didn't, because it had gotten broken in a fight a while back when she had a drinking party in her office.

He had sensed it when she left the barracks, felt the increase in reiatsu when she used flash steps, but he hadn't had the heart to stop her. He'd make her regret it later when she came back, and make sure she did her work, but for now he'd let her have a little break. She needed it. They all needed it.

Hitsugaya wondered how long they could go on like this. There had already been rumors and mutterings among the Tenth Division about how the Vice Captain wasn't fit to lead anymore, rumors that had been greatly encouraged by the Third Seat Yashin Tekina. And although most of the squad loved Rangiku and stayed loyal to her, even they would start to complain eventually.

He remembered the Hell Butterfly he had gotten from Urahara a few months ago, telling that the impossible might just be possible. He hadn't believed it at first, until he'd gotten the research data and the five-page long simplified theories. Then he'd had no choice to believe it, much as he hated to.

And now, he almost hoped that Urahara was right, because he hated to see Rangiku like this. Much as her old perky, sassy self had annoyed him, Tenth Division wasn't the same without her lively presence. They could've done with her antics at a time like this.

Hitsugaya sat down and leaned back in this chair, then opened a pack of cigarettes and lit one deliberately. He had taken to smoking a few months ago, because it helped to distract him from everything when he just couldn't take it anymore. Hinamori, paperwork, Rangiku, paperwork, leftover mobs from Aizen's army, and paperwork were some of his problems.

Hitsugaya picked up his pen and went back to signing papers, trying to get through them as quickly as possible. If he got any more overloaded, he thought, he might have to resort to Renji's solution of getting his zanpakuto to do the work. He tried to blow a smoke ring but it came out as more of a smoke blob, which did nothing to improve his already bad mood.

Hitsugaya had gotten to his sixty-eighth paper when he heard a weird rustling noise behind him. Weird rustling noises are never good. He put a hand on Hyourinmaru and whirled around. Unfortunately he'd forgotten that he was sitting in a spinney-chair, so when he whirled around the chair kept whirling a few times before it stopped with Hitsugaya in it, physically unharmed but with a good chunk taken out of his dignity.

He grunted and got quickly off the chair, in case it decided to do anything else to make him look like an idiot in front of the potential weird rustling enemy, then realized that there was no enemy to speak of, or anybody else. But the rustling still continued. Hitsugaya looked around his office and finally identified the source of the noise. A Hell Butterfly.

Hitsugaya let go of Hyourinmaru and put his hand out to the butterfly. It flew slowly over to him and landed on his palm, then relayed its prerecorded message. A single short sentence, in the voice of Urahara Kisuke:

"We've got a breakthrough."

_Three months after Gin's death, midday in the outskirts of Seireitei…_

In a story, after someone's died, there's always another person who's still alive, worrying about how they're going to forget about the guy who's dead. Forget what they looked like, forget what they sounded like, forget all the little quirks and distinctions that made them who they were.

It was so typical that filmmakers and writers would come up with such stupid, idiotic, unreal ideas. How ironic that they would talk about people who were afraid of forgetting, when Rangiku Matsumoto knew there was no way in hell that she could forget about Ichimaru Gin. And she almost wished she could forget, with the pain the remembering was causing.

It was three months since he had been killed, and she still remembered everything. Every little detail of the very first time she had seen him, to that last moment when he died. And along with each detail, every emotion that came with those moments. His memories were branded into her heart with burning ice. Burning ice like the color of his eyes. His beautiful eyes. Those eyes that were so hard to read for everyone but her.

She had always been best at telling what Gin was thinking. It was almost impossible not to, she knew him so well. Or at least, she knew him – had known him – better than anyone else had. He had always been mysterious and closed-in, but when they were alone together, he opened up a part of him to her. He told her that she was what kept him from ever forgetting who he was. She was his anchor.

She'd never told him, but Gin had been an anchor for her, too. His mere existence was what held her back even when she was dead drunk. He was what kept her from crossing the line, from going too far, from being too reckless, even when he wasn't there. She was so filled with memories of him that he didn't have to be there for her to feel his presence.

And she knew now with an unwavering certainty that those memories were never going to fade or drift away. It wasn't a promise; it was the honest, unquestionable, undefeatable truth. She couldn't forget anything about him.

Maybe, she thought as she walked through a swirl of petals in the cherry orchard where Gin used to take her to watch the sunrise, maybe it was because of the way he had been even while he was alive. How he was always leaving without warning for months on end, and when he came back he would never tell her where he had gone.

Maybe it was because she always saw so little of him that, when she did see him, she would treasure and store away every single memory of when they were together, knowing that soon he would disappear again, leaving her with nothing but a shadow, just a painful reminder of his absence.

There was always that unspoken understanding between them that, although he was here with her now, he wasn't here to stay. She was reluctant on her part, and she liked to think that Gin was too, but he had always had that thirst for adventure, that need to keep moving on, never staying for too long in one place.

To Rangiku, their little street in Seireitei had been her home. To Gin, it was more of a – well, honestly, she didn't what Seireitei meant to him anymore. Or _had_ meant to him anyway. He wasn't alive to have anything be meaningful to him now.

Rangiku stood there in the rain of pink and white blossoms as they slowly scattered on the ground like teardrops, and wondered if she would ever feel whole again.

**Me: Hell yeah! TWO THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTY words ppl! TEN FREAKING PAGES! Most I've ever written for a fanfic! Yay, Love me! I'm so totally awesome! So totally amazing!**

**Sheah: So totally self-centered…**

**Me: …did you say something, Sheah? *evil glint in my eye***

**Sheah: Wait, wait… *moves over to other side of room and puts the bed between us* …yes, I said you're so totally self-centered.**

**Me: …bitch. You're in no position to judge.**

**Sheah: …touché. But I resent being called a bitch. **

**Me: I'll admit that I'm a bitch, too. Is that okay?**

**Sheah: Oh, okay then. So long as you're a bitch too.**

**Me: …there's something very wrong with your logic. But wutevs, so long as you're satisfied with it.**

**Sheah: Yeah, to each his own. Or her own. My logic and your fanfics. **

**Me: Exactly. And even you gotta admit this chapter was good. Given, there was a little too much Rangiku-rambling-on-about-Gin, but the other parts made up for it. Hitsugaya with a ciggie, trying to blow smoke rings, lmao! That was great. Vicki gave me the ciggie idea and I just had to put in, the image was so hilarious. (I owe you, Vicks!)**

**Sheah: Hey, hey, what about me? I helped too, didn't I?**

**Me: …true. You were good with the angsty parts with Rangiku. But it was mostly Vicki with the ciggie and Lilith (Kawaii-tan), who gave me the idea for the whole Yoruichi-yelling-at-Kisuke dialogue. (btw thanks Lilith!)**

**Sheah: Yeah, yeah, but I was still the best, right?**

**Me: …uh, hate to break it to ya, Sheah, but – **

**Vicki: *materializes outta nowhere, holding a marshmallow*: BUT YOU SUCKED ASS!**

**Sheah: *seriously pissed* Excuse me? Who the hell asked you? Get outta here, Vicky, you weren't even invited! And why the f to you have a marshmallow?**

**Vicki: IT'S VICKI YOU GODDAMN IDIOT! I CHANGED THE SPELLING LIKE A MONTH AGO AND YOU STILL DON'T REMEMBER? AND WHAT, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MARSHMALLOWS? YOU WANNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE?**

**Me: …Vicks, is there a particular reason why you had to do all your talking in caps? **

**Vicki: No, no reason. Just felt like it.**

**Me: Oh, okay then. Just wondered.**

**Sheah: YOU'RE BOTH ACTING LIKE WE'RE HAVING A COMPLETELY NORMAL CONVERSATION WHEN WE'RE TOTALLY NOT! AND DON'T IGNORE WHAT I SAY!**

**Me: Sheah, now **_**you're**_** talking in caps.**

**Vicki: Yeah, Sheah, stop copying me.**

**Sheah: NO! STOP IGNORING WHAT I SAY! I HATE ALL OF YOU…!**

**Me: Aww, poor Sheah…why are you still talking in caps?**

**Sheah: AAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!**

**Me and Vicki: *collapse in laughter and high five each other* **

**Sheah: *muffled sobs***

**Me and Vicki: Sorry, Sheah, you're just way too easy to wind up. Forgive us?**

**Sheah: Fine. If you get 15 faves and comments in the next month for this chapter I'll forgive u. Otherwise you're screwed.**

**Me: Owch. Sheah's pretty harsh. So help me out guys! I don't want her mad at me forever! GIMME SOME FAVES, PLZ?**

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